She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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