Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize