she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
