I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
