maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
My vagina just clenched in fear
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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