I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Randomize
