now i know why i became what i already was.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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