The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I skipped work to stalk him.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
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