dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
