Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
He did a backflip because drugs
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