if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
