I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
