how hairy? two words: wookie tits
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
