what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
