he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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