South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
