Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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