I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
