I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
