So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
