Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
