so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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