So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
