I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
