Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Randomize
