Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
