Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
