I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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