last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
