I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
