Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Randomize
