im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
