my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
