ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
