CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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