Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
