This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
