The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
