if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
