I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
