i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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