so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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