I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Randomize
