Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
is that a dick in a sweater?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize