I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
