Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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