Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
