My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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