look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize