Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
