Who did Billy Mays play for?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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