i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
