my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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