The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Randomize
