Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
