I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
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