ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize