How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
