similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
