dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize