You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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