pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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